Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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