This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
