just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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