Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I want a musical about memes.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
