OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
