K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
