Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
