At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize