Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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