I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
