I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
