Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
