You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
