her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
