I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
