Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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