But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
