in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
