Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
