How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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