I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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