I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
