Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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