I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
love makes seman taste better
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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