420 ftw
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
