at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
