Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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