so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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