I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
