So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
