he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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