The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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