Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
