yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
