it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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