this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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