i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
