i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
