I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
