9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
