dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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