ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
