party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
