You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
