i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
