I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
