i already hear my dad disowning me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
