This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
