I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
