Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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