my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
