i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
