hotel room ftw
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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