So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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