the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
