Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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