my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
