What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
