i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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