I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
