Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
