he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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