Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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