So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
