Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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