Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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