another moral hangover. fuck.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
